I’ve been a therapist for a long time, and one of the patterns I see over and over, In both Maine and Florida alike, is what people often call high-functioning depression. Clients come to me saying:
“Terry, I don’t think I’m depressed. I go to work every day. I take care of the kids. I handle everything I’m supposed to handle.”
And yet, as we talk, there’s this quiet undercurrent of emptiness. Joy feels out of reach. Motivation is driven by obligation alone. Even when life looks full, there’s an invisible heaviness they carry every single day.
What High-Functioning Depression Really Looks Like
Clinically, high-functioning depression often aligns with Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia), a chronic low mood lasting two years or more. But labels aside, what I see in real people is this:
- You’re always tired, no matter how early you go to bed.
- You do what needs to be done, but joy feels muted or forced.
- You’re productive at work, but it feels mechanical—like you’re on autopilot.
- You dread downtime because it means sitting with your own thoughts.
- You keep busy to avoid feeling.
- You smile at people but feel disconnected inside.
- Your inner critic never shuts up.
If any of that resonates, I want you to know it’s not a flaw in who you are. It’s a signal that something deeper needs attention.
Why It Often Goes Untreated
Here in Maine, we pride ourselves on being resilient. Whether it’s working long hours in the hospital, managing a farm through harsh winters, or running your own business, productivity is valued. Stoicism is respected. Rest often feels like weakness.
Because of that, people with high-functioning depression often tell themselves:
- “I’m just tired.”
- “I don’t have it as bad as other people.”
- “If I can get out of bed and go to work, it can’t be depression.”
But I’ve learned that burnout fades with rest. High-functioning depression lingers even after a vacation or weekend off. It’s not just stress. It’s the loss of vitality—of feeling truly alive.
The Quiet Cost of Keeping Up Appearances
When you live with high-functioning depression long enough, it starts to take a toll:
- Your relationships feel distant because you’re not emotionally present.
- You might use alcohol or other numbing tools to take the edge off.
- You feel unfulfilled, no matter what you achieve.
- You wonder if this is just “how life is now.”
Over time, hopelessness can deepen, and physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, and chronic pain begin to surface. The body always keeps the score.
How I Work With Clients Experiencing High-Functioning Depression
When someone comes to me for therapy, we start by putting language to what’s been unspoken. That alone often brings relief—finally naming what you’ve carried alone for so long.
Here’s what our work together might include:
- Creating a safe space to tell your full story without judgment or minimizing.
- Exploring root causes, whether it’s grief you never processed, early life experiences that shaped your self-worth, or trauma that’s been locked away.
- Identifying the silent beliefs driving your exhaustion—like “I only matter if I’m useful.”
- Reconnecting you to real joy. Small things, at first—a cup of coffee on the porch, an honest conversation with someone who sees you.
- Building emotional literacy so you can feel your feelings without fear and express them with confidence.
It’s rarely a quick fix. But I’ve seen so many people move from grey, muted days to living in full color again. The capacity is there, even if you can’t feel it yet.
You Don’t Have to Wait Until You Break
Many of my clients tell me they felt they had to “fall apart” before reaching out. But therapy is most powerful when we catch depression while it’s whispering, not screaming.
If you’re reading this thinking, “That sounds like me, but I’m still functioning”, that’s exactly when it’s time to reach out. You deserve more than survival.
At InnerVisions, I offer individual therapy for depression and anxiety both in-person and via telehealth to clients all across Maine and Florida; whether you’re based in Portland, Miami, Augusta, Orlando, Bangor, or a small coastal town that lacks local therapy resources.
No Need To Keep Depression Running
High-functioning depression can be hard to see from the outside. People praise your discipline and productivity without realizing you’re running on fumes.
If life feels empty no matter how much you accomplish, it’s not because you’re ungrateful or broken. It’s because something inside you is asking for care, attention, and healing.
You don’t have to keep pushing through alone. If you’re ready to move beyond simply coping and start feeling alive again, reach out today. I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
Warmly,
Terry Jordan, LCSW
InnerVisions Counseling & Wellness
