By Terry Jordan, LCSW | Inner Visions Counseling & Wellness – Serving Maine
Every June, Father’s Day rolls around with its usual set of commercials, smiling families, and sentimental cards. But for many men—and many families—this day doesn’t feel like a celebration. It feels like a reminder. Of distance. Of silence. Of pain that was never named.
As a therapist who works closely with men across Maine and Florida, I see a pattern year after year: Father’s Day surfaces emotional wounds that most people don’t talk about. Especially men.
Whether you’re a father estranged from your children, a son grieving a fractured relationship with your own dad, or simply someone who feels unseen in the role you play—this holiday has a way of pulling on something deep.
I specialize in helping people untangle these quiet, complicated emotional threads. If you’re reading this and something resonates, you’re not alone—and this might be the right time to talk.
The Unspoken Reality: Fatherhood Isn’t Always Celebrated
In our society, we’re conditioned to see Father’s Day through a narrow lens: the barbecue hero, the family man, the provider who is both strong and emotionally steady. But real life is far more layered.
Many men I work with feel disconnected from their children—sometimes due to divorce, sometimes due to choices made years ago, sometimes because emotional distance slowly replaced connection. Some haven’t spoken to their fathers in decades. Others lost them early and still carry the weight of what was never said.
And then there are the men who show up every day, who work hard, who carry the pressure silently—and still feel like they’re falling short.
Father’s Day can be an emotionally triggering time not because of what’s happening in the moment, but because of everything that isn’t.
Men and the Fear of Not Being Enough
Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get said often enough: men struggle with insecurity too.
Not in the way society frames it—confidence in the boardroom, success in sports, power or money—but in deeper, quieter ways:
- Am I a good enough father?
- Do my kids really know me?
- Will I be remembered for the right reasons?
- Am I worthy of forgiveness or reconnection?
These are the kinds of questions that come up in my sessions every week. And yet, many men in Maine, Florida (and across the country) have never had the space—or the permission—to explore them out loud.
The truth is, men are expected to carry so much without ever putting it down. Society doesn’t always make room for vulnerability in masculinity. But therapy does.
Why So Many Men Stay Silent
From a young age, boys are often taught that expressing emotion is weakness. That talking about hurt, or fear, or longing is something you outgrow. That anger is acceptable—but sadness isn’t.
By the time those boys become fathers, many have internalized the belief that their worth is tied only to how much they provide or protect—not how they feel or connect.
So they stay silent. Even when they’re in pain. Even when they’re lonely.
And often, that silence becomes a wall that separates them from the people they love most.
Estranged Relationships: It’s More Common Than You Think
You might be surprised how many men in Maine—across Portland, Bangor, Lewiston, and our rural communities—or in Florida from the Keys to the Panhandle-are estranged from someone they care about. A son. A daughter. A father. A brother.
Estrangement doesn’t always come from a big dramatic falling out. Sometimes it comes from years of missed conversations. From unspoken resentments. From not knowing how to bridge the gap.
What I tell clients is this: It’s never too late to look inward. Whether reconciliation is possible or not, healing can still happen.
At Inner Visions, we use a variety of therapeutic approaches to help men process estrangement and move forward with integrity and self-understanding.
Rewriting the Narrative: What Healing Looks Like
Healing isn’t about pretending things didn’t happen or rushing to patch up relationships that feel broken.
It’s about:
- Understanding where the distance came from
- Taking ownership of your role without carrying unnecessary guilt
- Learning how to express yourself without shame
- Setting healthy boundaries—even when emotions run high
- Finding peace whether or not reconnection is possible
This process looks different for every man. Some begin by writing unsent letters. Others start by understanding how their own fathers shaped their identity. Many begin with a simple conversation—something like, “I don’t know how to talk about this, but I know I need to.”
Why Now Is the Time
Holidays like Father’s Day bring these emotions to the surface—but they also offer a doorway. If this year feels different… if you’ve been carrying pain or distance that’s starting to feel too heavy… this is the time to reach out.
Therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you understand yourself more fully, connect more honestly, and move forward in a way that aligns with who you really are—not just the role you’ve been playing.
I offer a safe, private, nonjudgmental space—whether you want to explore your relationship with your kids, your father, or yourself.
How to Get Started
If you’re in Maine and looking for a therapist who understands men’s emotional landscapes—without the clichés or judgment—I’m here.
We offer:
- Individual therapy for men navigating life transitions, fatherhood, estrangement, and emotional stress
- Telehealth counseling throughout Maine for your convenience and privacy
- Trauma-informed care that goes beyond surface-level symptoms
You don’t have to carry it all alone.
Final Thoughts
Father’s Day can be joyful—but for many, it’s complicated. If this holiday brings up more questions than comfort, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It means you’re human.
And if you’re ready to look beneath the surface and start working through what’s really there—I’m ready to help.
Let’s talk.
— Terry Jordan, LCSW
Inner Visions Counseling & Wellness
Serving Individuals Across Maine and Florida
